You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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