We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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