Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
