Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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