I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize