my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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