it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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