do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If I die, sorry about rent.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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