i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
where am i from again
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
