I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
