Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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