you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
