Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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