My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think I am morally bankrupt
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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