When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
