I looked at my own cervix.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
