yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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