Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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