i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
