You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
