dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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