Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We have so much sex to catch up on
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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