well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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