I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
