Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She needs sedatives and a leash
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
