I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We had to coat check the pizza.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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