either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
