Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
