My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
