What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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