What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
two words...techno handjob
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
This toilet bowl is my home.
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