omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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