farters have to be the big spoon...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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