why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
