I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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