Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
