I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize