so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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