he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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