Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
