Tell her she can't have a vagina
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
