problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
