they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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