I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
