you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
