He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize