whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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