margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
