I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize