Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
