Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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