An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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