Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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