she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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