he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
