i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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