hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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