Its about making memories worth repressing
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
