i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
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