the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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