Can i not drive my cunt home
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
