it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
