just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
