Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize