So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
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