So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
